We just celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary. The years have flown by, and we’ve been through deep valleys, droughts, the outpouring of God’s abundance, and everything in between. After three weeks of dating and a four-month engagement, Dino and I were married. Our parents had known each other for years, but with a four-year age gap between the two of us, we hadn’t been close. But as I walked through the doorway the second time we saw each other, I knew. And the crazy thing is, he knew too. We had the ability to connect so quickly because we were seeking out what God wanted for us, and we were open to it. When God presented our relationship to us, we were ready for what He had. Within a day we both knew we would spend the rest of our lives together.

It’s pretty bold to meet someone and within a few hours, days, or even weeks feel enough confidence to say, “You’re the one for me, forever.” It’s the same leap of faith we take in our relationship with God. Knowing Him and trusting Him and having faith that what He says, He will do.

Every day we wake up with a decision to make about our commitment to love and honor our spouse. As humans who struggle with our own fleshly desires, we tend to disappoint and stumble in many areas. We live in a sin-ridden world surrounded by temptations big and small. But God is the perfect example of forgiveness and grace. Second Corinthians 5:21 says, “He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him” (NASB). By knowing God, we are saved by His grace. God sent His only Son to die on the cross for our sins, to wash away every blemish we have. What a miraculous gift we’ve been given. As we navigate the calm and rocky waters of life and marriage, that is the one thing we can hold tight to.

Whether you’re thriving in your marriage or you feel like you’re drowning in it right now, turn your eyes toward God. There have been many moments in my own marriage where I’ve felt lost and unsure. I’ve tried to take the reins thinking I knew how to fix Dino or our marriage. But I was reminded at a Bible study a few years back to loosen my grip and let go. I needed to surrender our marriage to God—to shift my focus away from what I wanted Him to do for me and toward what He wanted me to do for Him. I needed to lean into knowing God, recognizing that His promises do not return void, and that maybe Dino wasn’t the one who needed fixing in the first place.

When we focus on our relationship with God, tuning in to what He says for our lives and marriages, we will flourish. And ultimately that’s where I feel most confident and can live without fear. So, as we celebrate the birth of Jesus this season, let us turn our hearts to the one true King. “Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord” (Luke 2:11). We know Jesus is our King based on many prophecies. We can walk in our daily lives and our marriages with confidence knowing that His Word is truth.

Glory to the newborn King!